Just last night, I had a dream in which I was unable to reach out to my ex-lover no matter how hard I tried. The struggle felt real. I then woke up with a hollowness that numbs me as I lay on my bed for a good 10 minutes. I’ve recently developed the intelligence to bring headphones whenever I’m at my cafe, and I’ve spent the afternoon listening to songs that awakens a surreal feeling of melancholy. I have to admit, there are times in the past year when the feeling can get rather intense and overwhelming.
In most recent years, my appreciation for experiencing pain and suffering have grown a whole lot. I found that I, too, have grown a whole lot from allowing myself to experience such pain. When examined more thoroughly, the feeling of pain makes me a complete person. I am, as a whole, a person who is capable of feeling sadness, anger, happiness, anxiety, and disgust, and value them (as best as I possibly can) all the same.
There is a deep sense of comfort in accepting myself, which leads to an appreciation of my own life and the experiences that comes with it. Even in moments of pain, I feel like there’s so much to love about my own life.
I no longer believe that pain is to be avoided or treated like a dirty word. And I’ve found myself loving my life more and more each day.